The Hot New Look

I must say, I’m quite impressed with the Mach 3 Turbo Razor. It has a 3-bladed cartridge like the regular Mach 3 but there’s a small battery inside the handle which powers a vibrating function that, rather than just being a marketing gimmick, actually greatly improves the quality and ease of the shave. Mat, who turned me onto it, says it’s like “mowing a lawn”. My cousin, whom I turned onto it, says it’s like “shoveling” your face. All in all, it’s made shaving a joy, whereas heretofore it was a chore. I highly recommend it.

Najib, on the other hand, goes for the upscale, old-fashioned shave: the straight razor. It’s an actual razor blade he slots into a heavy, metal, vice-like device. “This would never make it through security at the airport,” he said. He also has a potpourri of shaving gels, foams, tonics, and brushes. He’s really into it. When we were in Johor last, he went to get professionally shaved. It took half an hour but it was a “real experience”.

I’ve also noticed a proliferation of hair products in my room recently—pomades, gels, and such. Even a hair dryer. For a long time Najib and I would borrow Sidek’s hair product—“NOW I look sexy,” I would say. Then I got my own hair product and Najib and Mat started borrowing mine. Then Najib got his. Finally, the other day, I saw a little jar of gel and brand new hairdryer next to Mat’s wardrobe case. Now we ALL look “sexy”.

I had an extremely hard time when I first went to get my hair product. I went into a salon when i were in Cheras. They had shelves and shelves of jars, cans, bottles, and tubes of creams, pastes, tinctures, tonics, gels, stabilizers, sprays, mousses, and pomades. I said, “Uh . . . do you have any hair product?”
The woman looked at me like I was retarded. “What KIND of hair product.”

“ . . . I don’t know . . . um . . . something to put in my hair?”

After another ten, painful minutes in the salon, I emerged with my hair product (and far less self esteem). The product did what I needed it to do and it smelled good, too. Najib’s girlfriend says it smells like “cookies”.

Sometime, when I’m shaving, I wonder if I might end up with that same look again by accident. I wonder if something might go wrong with my mach 3 turbo razor, if somehow, some water might get into the handle where the battery is and somehow electricity might be conducted up through the blades and into my face.

Maybe that’s just what I need to put my look over the top, though. I’ll look in the mirror, hair standing on end, burn marks on my face, smoke rising, and say, “NOW I’m sexy”.